One of my favorite things is to celebrate the people I love. Whether it’s buying Starbucks for my roommate when she aces a test, taking my sister out to dinner when she lands a new job, or face timing my little brother to express how proud I am when he receives college acceptance letters in the mail. It fills me with joy and pride to watch the people I am closest to succeed in their endeavors.
Then why is it that I can never celebrate my own success?
Imposter syndrome is “when you doubt your own skills and successes. You feel you're not as talented or worthy as others believe, and you're scared that one day, people will realize that”. As I’ve overcome many mental health struggles, which kept me debilitated for years, and finally took back the reins to my life, I thought there would be a moment of triumph - I am still waiting for that moment. Instead, I have been left with an uneasy feeling. “It’s not that big of a deal”, “Everyone else is living normally, so why can't I?”, “I should be doing more”, and “What if I regress?” are thoughts that plague my mind daily.
A quote that often sticks with me is: “I can’t celebrate my achievements because, in my mind, it was my obligation to achieve them”. This quote is how imposter syndrome feels to me. To me, achievements are an endless to-do list. Life is simply checking off another box - as soon as one box is checked I am promptly onto the next! I grew up around people who expected greatness from me, so it has never felt special. My overwhelming need to be great consumed me, until I cracked. Achievements often feel like failure because in the end I think I should have achieved more.
I often look around me - at my friends, family, school peers, and watch them do life. They succeed and they fail, as everyone does. On the outside, we are blind to an individual's everyday struggles. We can’t see how they suffer daily with social anxiety, have a hard home life, or spend 3 hours on an assignment because they have undiagnosed ADHD. What is solely in our view is the hustle and bustle of everyday life. The world continues to turn and everyone continues to move with it. We do not have time to celebrate our success or heal from our failures. We live in a fast paced world that does not take the time to appreciate what you did, instead it asks, “what are you going to do NEXT?”. God forbid you spend a moment reflecting on your success or your failure, the world might move on without you.
4 years ago I could not imagine that I would be in college, let alone thriving. But as I now approach the halfway mark of being a college student, I still can’t manage to find a way to celebrate how far I have come. Through further research, I discovered that like all thoughts I have, I am not alone in thinking them. “Around 25 to 30 percent of high achievers may suffer from imposter syndrome. And around 70 percent of adults may experience impostorism at least once in their lifetime, research suggests”. Leaning on my friends around me has helped me realize that I’m not alone.
My roommate (Female, Age 21) has shared this with me:
“Something nobody tells you about going to college is sometimes you can feel the weight of imposter syndrome, as if my accomplishments and opportunities don’t fully belong to me because there are so many people around me who I feel are far more deserving. I sometimes catch myself questioning whether I’ve truly earned my achievements or if they’re just a matter of luck and opportunity. Balancing my academic and extracurricular commitments, along with my aspirations of becoming a prosecutor, often leaves me doubting whether I measure up to others in my field and those who will also be applying to law school in the future. It’s a constant battle between recognizing my capabilities and understanding that all of my hard work is and will continue to pay off.”
As I complete my studies in psychology, I continue to understand my own mental health from a new perspective. Specifically fall semester in an intro to counseling course, I have had the opportunity to learn the basis of therapy exercises that I myself practice in session. One practice that sticks out to me is challenging negative thought patterns. Though I have been in therapy for over 4 years, I have only just begun to recognize the practical implementation of these therapy exercises in my everyday life, outside of session. When I have irrational thoughts, often accompanied with imposter syndrome, I am now able to logically think through them. I come to the conclusion that my negative thoughts are not facts. I do this by finding evidence to combat my thoughts. I have jumped the hurdle of being able to recognize my negative thought patterns and deny them without the help of my therapist.
Though I am able to logically understand that my feelings are not facts, these feelings of constant self-doubt still linger. Unfortunately, I don't have any answers. I haven't found a way to cure my imposter syndrome. All I do know is that strategically working through my irrational thoughts, finding evidence to combat them, and leaning on friends who have similar feelings has helped me navigate imposter syndrome.
Written by: Juliana Cotza, Marketing Assistant
Works Cited
“Imposter Syndrome.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/imposter-syndrome. Accessed 24 Jan. 2025.
“What Is Imposter Syndrome?” WebMD, WebMD, www.webmd.com/balance/what-is-imposter-syndrome. Accessed 24 Jan. 2025.
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