My Semicolon

Written By: Juliana Cotza - Positive Directions Marketing Intern, Fall 2024

A semicolon is used when an author could have chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life.

People say your high school years are some of the best years of your life. They are filled with Friday night football games, junior prom, and pep rallies - core memories that are made during this time. My high school years, however, were some of the worst years. Instead of making lifelong memories with friends, I was held hostage to my bed, plagued with intense depression and anxiety.

I didn’t leave the house much in high school. I spent 4 years completing school online, barely getting by. Some days were extremely dark; I couldn’t speak to anyone, couldn’t eat, and couldn’t imagine waking up the next day to the life I was living. Thankfully, I found help and began therapy. I would be lying if I said my first counseling sessions were productive. In reality, I spent the first few hour sessions crying, unable to get a word out. Very slowly, I gained the strength to open up to my therapist. I began to put in the work to take back control of my life. The work I have done in therapy was hard and long, and even still today, ongoing.

If you told 16 year old me, the girl who didn’t want to keep living, who missed out on high

school because of her mental health, that I am thriving in college, she would not believe you. Sometimes it is still difficult for me to recognize and celebrate the many accomplishments I’ve gathered since that extremely dark time in my life. But I am being mindful to self-reflect and appreciate how much progress I have made every single day. 

Being on the other side of the couch has truly brought things into perspective. When I entered the role of Marketing Intern at Positive Directions, I felt so many emotions that are still difficult for me to put into words; bittersweet and proud come to mind. Being in the counseling environment as an employee and not a client is a feeling I can’t describe. I feel so incredibly lucky to have this opportunity.

Looking back, I can now say that I don’t recognize high school me. But I am grateful for her, and immensely proud of her; I would not change a thing. She gave me the passion and drive to one day pursue a career where I have the ability to help people, exactly like I was helped. 

This is your sign to keep going and to stay alive. There is a light at the end of the tunnel; I know because I’ve reached it.

A semicolon is used when an author could have chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life.

Due to my personal history with mental health struggles, I have always been interested in perusing a career in the psychology field. My goal is to help people like I have been helped, and provide that support to others who may be struggling. However, I also have interests in marketing as well. That is why this role as Marketing Intern at PD was perfect for me; it combined both of my interests and passions into one position. I have the opportunity to be creative, raise awareness for mental health and substance abuse, and break down the stigma associated with it.

Photo: Juliana, the President of mental health and suicide prevention club "To Write Love on Her Arms", giving Sacred Heart University students temporary semicolon tattoos at SHU's annual Suicide Prevention Walk.

About Positive Directions-The Center for Prevention & Counseling

Positive Directions is a nonprofit serving mid Fairfield County for over 50 years. We provide community-based prevention services, outpatient counseling, and recovery support groups for children, adults, and families struggling with mental health and/or substance use challenges.

In the area of suicide prevention addressed in this blog post, we provide a free in-person Alternatives to Suicide support group every Tuesday night at 7pm at our office. The "Alt2Su" group is open to anyone over age 18. For teens and young adults, we also offer free one-on-one peer support through our TurningPointCT project (soon to be renamed the CT Support Group), funded by DMHAS. Our young adult Peer Support Specialist, Quinn, has lived experience and extensive peer support training to help young people dealing with mental illness, substance misuse, or identity issues. Quinn is an experienced Alt2Su facilitator.